五月的北京，春意未尽，初夏已至。
In Beijing in May, spring had not quite departed and early summer had already arrived.
那天下午的唐廊，与其说是一场通常意义上的新书发布会，不如说更像一次朋友之间的现代雅集。
That afternoon at Tang Gallery felt less like a conventional book launch than a modern gathering of friends, art and ideas.
有书，有音乐，有舞蹈，有朗诵；有从很远的地方传来的古老琴声，也有多年老友带来的回忆。
There were books, music, dance and recitation; ancient sounds carried from a distant past, and memories brought by friends who had known Annie for many years.
东方与西方，古典与现代，恰如王蕤这些年来往返于中国与美国之间的人生，在这个五月的午后相遇。
East and West, classical and modern, met on that May afternoon much as they had in Annie Wang’s own life moving between China and America.
活动由王筝晨主持。
The event was hosted by Wang Zhengchen.
来自英国的芭蕾舞者翩然起舞。西方芭蕾特有的轻盈、优雅与克制，为这个特别的午后拉开了序幕。
A ballerina from the United Kingdom opened the afternoon with the lightness, elegance and restraint of Western ballet.
而芭蕾之后响起的，却是来自古老中国的声音。
But after the ballet came a sound from ancient China.
王蕤最爱的箜篌
Annie Wang’s Beloved Konghou
箜篌是中国最古老的乐器之一，也是王蕤最钟爱的中国传统乐器。
The konghou is one of China’s oldest musical instruments and Annie Wang’s favorite traditional Chinese instrument.
她一直喜欢箜篌。
She had loved the konghou for years.
喜欢它古老而优美的形态，也喜欢琴弦拨动之后那种清澈、空灵，仿佛从很遥远的年代飘来的声音。
She loved its ancient, graceful form and the clear, ethereal sound of its strings, as if the music had drifted in from a very distant age.
所以，能够在自己的新书发布会上请来著名箜篌演奏家鲁璐女士演奏，也是王蕤一直以来的一个美好愿望。
So inviting renowned konghou performer Ms. Lu Lu to play at her own book launch fulfilled a wish Annie had cherished for a long time.
那天下午，鲁璐身着著名华裔设计师 Grace Chen 设计的白色晚礼服。
That afternoon, Lu Lu wore a white evening gown designed by renowned Chinese-American designer Grace Chen.
洁白的礼服上装饰着许多流苏。她坐在箜篌前，随着手臂抬起、手指拨动琴弦，一层层白色流苏也随之轻轻摇曳。
The white gown was covered in delicate fringe. As she raised her arms and plucked the strings, layer after layer of fringe moved gently with her.
灯光之下，洁白的晚礼服、飘动的流苏与箜篌一根根细密的琴弦彼此呼应。
Under the lights, the white gown, floating fringe and fine strings of the konghou seemed to echo one another.
仿佛衣服也随着音乐一起流动起来。
It was as though the dress itself moved with the music.
古老的中国乐器与现代高级时装，在那一刻没有任何冲突。一个属于遥远年代的声音，与一个现代女性的形象，就这样自然地融在了一起。
At that moment, an ancient Chinese instrument and modern haute couture did not clash at all. A sound from a distant age and the image of a modern woman blended naturally together.
当鲁璐的手指拨动琴弦，箜篌清越的声音在唐廊响起时，仿佛把这个属于现代北京的五月午后，轻轻牵回了古老的中国。
As Lu Lu’s fingers moved across the strings and the clear voice of the konghou filled Tang Gallery, the modern Beijing afternoon seemed gently drawn back toward ancient China.
对王蕤来说，那不仅仅是一场发布会上的演奏。
For Annie, it was more than a performance at a book launch.
也是一个惦念已久的小小愿望，终于实现了。
It was a small, long-held wish finally coming true.
当自己的文字被另一个声音读出来
Hearing Her Own Words in Another Voice
随后，石军先生朗诵了王蕤文章中的片段。
Later, Mr. Shi Jun recited passages from Annie Wang’s own writing.
没有王维，也没有借用古人的诗句。
There was no Wang Wei and no borrowing of poetry from the ancients.
那天下午被朗诵的，就是王蕤自己的文字。
What was recited that afternoon was Annie’s own work.
那些关于女人、怀孕、孩子、家庭和成长的句子，从书页上来到现场，又经过另一个人的声音，被重新讲述。
Sentences about women, pregnancy, children, family and growing up left the page, entered the room and were told anew through someone else’s voice.
一个作者坐在那里，听别人朗诵自己曾经一个字一个字写下的生活，是一种很特别的体验。
For an author, sitting there and hearing someone else read aloud a life she had once written down word by word is a very particular experience.
原本属于个人的记忆，在那一刻变成了可以被许多人共同听见的故事。
Memories that had once belonged to one person became, in that moment, stories that many people could hear together.
发小眼中的她：从少女到母亲
Through a Childhood Friend’s Eyes: From Girlhood to Motherhood
那天来到唐廊的，还有王蕤生命中一些真正重要的人。
Among those who came to Tang Gallery that day were people who had truly mattered in Annie Wang’s life.
著名主持人许戈辉是王蕤的发小。
Well-known television host Xu Gehui is Annie’s childhood friend.
两个人相识的时候，王蕤还是一个少女。
When the two first knew each other, Annie was still a girl.
在新书发布会上，许戈辉回忆起自己一路看着王蕤长大——从当年的少女，到后来的女人，再到今天三个孩子的母亲。
At the launch, Xu Gehui remembered watching Annie grow up—from the girl she once knew, to a woman, and then to the mother of three children.
这不是一个普通嘉宾对一本新书的介绍。
This was not an ordinary guest introducing a new book.
这是一个认识她很多很多年的老朋友，在回望另一个人的人生。
It was an old friend who had known her for many years looking back over another person’s life.
她记忆里的王蕤，曾经还是那个年轻的女孩。
In her memory, Annie had once simply been that young girl.
后来恋爱，结婚，怀孕，生产；一个孩子来了，又一个孩子来了。人生的角色越来越多，生活也越来越复杂。
Then came love, marriage, pregnancy and childbirth; one child arrived, then another. The roles in life multiplied, and life itself became more complicated.
然后有一天，那个昔日的少女已经成为三个孩子的母亲，并把自己一路走来的经历写成了一本关于怀孕、生育和育儿的书。
And one day, the girl from years ago had become a mother of three, turning everything she had lived through into a book about pregnancy, childbirth and parenting.
时间忽然有了可以看得见的长度。
Suddenly, time seemed to have a visible length.
从少女，到母亲。
From girlhood to motherhood.
这大概也是只有发小才能讲出的故事。
Perhaps it is the kind of story only a childhood friend can tell.
从产房，到新书发布会
From the Delivery Room to the Book Launch
另一位特别的来宾，是著名的中美妇产科医生陈磊。
Another special guest was prominent Chinese-American obstetrician-gynecologist Dr. Chen Lei.
她与这本书之间的缘分更加特别。
Her connection to the book was even more personal.
王蕤三个孩子中的两个，正是由陈磊医生接生的。
Dr. Chen delivered two of Annie Wang’s three children.
所以，当陈磊医生出现在《美式生孩子，中式坐月子》的发布会上时，她并不仅仅是一位受邀参加活动的妇产科专家。
So when Dr. Chen appeared at the launch of American-Style Childbirth, Chinese-Style Confinement, she was not simply an invited medical expert.
书里关于怀孕、生产、医院和产房的那些经历，其中的一部分，是她曾经真正参与过的人生。
Some of the book’s experiences of pregnancy, childbirth, hospitals and delivery rooms were events in which she had actually taken part.
当年，她在产房里迎接两个小生命来到这个世界。
Years earlier, she had welcomed two small lives into the world in the delivery room.
多年以后，孩子的母亲把那些经历写成了一本书，而当年的接生医生又坐到了这本书的发布会现场。
Years later, their mother turned those experiences into a book, and the doctor who had delivered them was sitting at that book’s launch.
从产房里孩子出生的第一声啼哭，到北京唐廊的新书发布会，时间仿佛在这里悄悄画了一个圆。
From the first cries in the delivery room to a book launch at Tang Gallery in Beijing, time seemed quietly to draw a circle.
一个是看着王蕤从少女一路走来的发小。
One was the childhood friend who had watched Annie grow from a girl.
一个是亲手迎接她两个孩子来到这个世界的医生。
The other was the doctor who had personally welcomed two of her children into the world.
她们从完全不同的方向，共同见证了王蕤生命中最重要的一段变化。
From entirely different directions, both had witnessed one of the most important transformations in Annie’s life.
梦无止境的世界
A World of Endless Dreams
而这本书真正开始的地方，却远没有发布会上的灯光和音乐那么从容。
But the place where this book truly began was far less composed than the lights and music of the launch.
它开始于怀孕。
It began with pregnancy.
一个女人怀孕以后，最先发现的，也许并不是肚子慢慢大起来，而是自己原本熟悉的身体突然变得陌生。
After becoming pregnant, perhaps the first thing a woman notices is not her growing belly, but that the body she once knew so well has suddenly become unfamiliar.
荷尔蒙开始重新安排一切。
Hormones begin rearranging everything.
情绪变了。
Her emotions change.
胃口变了。
Her appetite changes.
嗅觉变了。
Her sense of smell changes.
睡眠变了。
Her sleep changes.
连梦也变了。
Even her dreams change.
王蕤把书中的一个章节叫作——《梦无止境的世界》。
Annie titled one chapter of the book “A World of Endless Dreams.”
还有神秘的荷尔蒙、孕吐、害喜。
There are also mysterious hormones, nausea and morning sickness.
那些没完没了的梦，那些莫名其妙的担心，那些突然喜欢或者突然无法忍受的气味，那些完全不听大脑指挥的身体反应……
The endless dreams, inexplicable worries, smells one suddenly loves or suddenly cannot tolerate, and bodily reactions that refuse to obey the mind...
一个原本自由自在的女人，忽然发现自己的身体里住进了另外一个生命。
A woman who had once moved freely through life suddenly discovers another life living inside her body.
从那一天开始，问题也一个接一个地来了。
From that day on, the questions arrive one after another.
孕妇为什么会健忘？
Why do pregnant women become forgetful?
为什么会做那么多奇怪的梦？
Why do they have so many strange dreams?
咖啡还能不能喝？
Can you still drink coffee?
茶呢？
What about tea?
害喜严重的时候，怎样保证孩子的营养？
When morning sickness is severe, how do you make sure the baby gets enough nutrition?
应该运动还是应该休息？
Should you exercise or rest?
怀孕以后究竟应该有多小心？
How cautious should you really be during pregnancy?
哪些是医学？
Which rules are medical?
哪些是传统？
Which are tradition?
哪些又只是代代相传，却从来没有人认真问过“为什么”的习惯？
And which are simply customs passed down from generation to generation without anyone seriously asking, “Why?”
这些问题看起来琐碎。
These questions may sound trivial.
可是对于一个真正怀着孩子的女人来说，没有一件是小事。
But for a woman actually carrying a child, none of them is a small matter.
三个孩子，三次不同的人生体验
Three Children, Three Different Life Experiences
王蕤是三个孩子的母亲。
Annie Wang is the mother of three children.
她经历过顺产，也经历过剖宫产；在中国的医院生过孩子，也在美国的医院生产过。
She experienced both vaginal birth and Cesarean delivery, and gave birth in hospitals in both China and the United States.
这也是《美式生孩子，中式坐月子》最特别的地方。
That is also what makes American-Style Childbirth, Chinese-Style Confinement so distinctive.
她不是站在外面比较中国和美国。
She is not comparing China and America from the outside.
她自己就在里面。
She lived inside both systems herself.
她亲自躺过两边的产床，面对过两种医疗体系，也听过两种文化对于女人生产完全不同的说法。
She lay on delivery beds in both countries, encountered two medical systems, and heard two cultures offer very different ideas about childbirth.
什么时候应该去医院？
When should you go to the hospital?
要不要无痛分娩？
Should you have an epidural?
丈夫是不是应该进入产房？
Should the husband be in the delivery room?
孩子出生以后应该怎样护理？
How should a newborn be cared for?
而一个中国女人在美国医院里，又会不由自主地想起从小听到的另一整套规则：
And in an American hospital, a Chinese woman cannot help remembering an entirely different set of rules she has heard since childhood:
刚刚生完孩子怎么能洗澡？
How can you possibly take a shower right after giving birth?
怎么能碰凉的？
How can you touch anything cold?
月子一定要“捂”吗？
Must postpartum confinement really mean staying bundled up and protected from the cold?
老一辈留下来的那些经验，到底哪些有道理？
Which of the older generation’s practices actually make sense?
于是，一个看似简单的问题越来越复杂：
And so one seemingly simple question becomes more and more complicated:
到底应该听谁的？
Who should you listen to?
美式生孩子，中式坐月子
American-Style Childbirth, Chinese-Style Confinement
这个书名本身，就是一种回答。
The title itself offers one kind of answer.
“美式生孩子”，并不意味着所有事情都要美国化。
“American-style childbirth” does not mean everything should be Americanized.
“中式坐月子”，也不意味着祖辈留下来的每一种习惯都必须原封不动地接受。
And “Chinese-style confinement” does not mean every custom handed down by earlier generations must be accepted unchanged.
王蕤真正想知道的是：
What Annie really wanted to know was:
什么有科学依据？什么只是文化习惯？哪些西方经验值得学习？哪些中国传统又真正包含着生活的智慧？
What has scientific support? What is simply cultural habit? Which Western practices are worth learning from? And which Chinese traditions genuinely contain practical wisdom?
坐月子到底有没有必要？
Is postpartum confinement really necessary?
能不能洗澡、洗头？
Can a new mother shower and wash her hair?
孩子哭了，是马上抱起来，还是让他自己安静下来？
When a baby cries, should you pick the child up immediately or let the baby settle down alone?
孩子应该怎样睡？
How should a baby sleep?
什么时候添加辅食？
When should solid foods be introduced?
怎样让孩子独立，又怎样给他足够的安全感？
How do you encourage independence while still giving a child enough security?
这些表面上是育儿问题，背后却是两个文化对于身体、家庭、母亲和孩子的不同理解。
On the surface these are parenting questions, but behind them lie two cultures’ different understandings of the body, family, motherhood and childhood.
王蕤没有简单地选择一边。
Annie did not simply choose one side.
她比较。
She compared.
她怀疑。
She questioned.
她去寻找资料，也在自己的三个孩子身上不断学习。
She searched for information and kept learning through raising her own three children.
然后再做自己的判断。
Then she made her own judgments.
这大概才是“科学育儿”真正有意思的地方。
That may be what makes evidence-based parenting truly interesting.
不是找到一本新的育儿圣经，然后一条一条照着执行。
It is not about finding a new parenting bible and following it rule by rule.
而是学会思考。
It is about learning how to think.
从怀孕，到孩子三岁
From Pregnancy to Age Three
《美式生孩子，中式坐月子》详细记录了王蕤从怀孕开始，一直到孩子三岁之间的生育与科学育儿过程。
American-Style Childbirth, Chinese-Style Confinement records in detail Annie Wang’s experience of childbirth and evidence-based parenting from pregnancy through the child’s third year.
从最初的荷尔蒙、孕吐、害喜和那些无休无止的梦，到第一次真正意识到身体里已经有了一个新的生命；
From the first hormonal changes, nausea, morning sickness and endless dreams, to the first real realization that a new life was already growing inside her body;
从产检、营养和对生产的期待与恐惧，到真正走进产房；
From prenatal checkups, nutrition, anticipation and fear of childbirth, to actually entering the delivery room;
从生产的疼痛，到第一次把孩子抱在怀里；
From the pain of labor to holding the baby for the first time;
从母乳、奶粉、睡眠、夜醒、哭闹，到坐月子；
From breastfeeding, formula, sleep, waking at night and crying, to postpartum confinement;
从一个手忙脚乱的新手妈妈，到渐渐知道孩子为什么哭、什么时候饿、什么时候只是需要妈妈抱一抱；
From being an overwhelmed first-time mother to gradually understanding why the baby is crying, when the child is hungry, and when the baby simply needs to be held;
从一个完全依赖大人的小婴儿，到会坐、会爬、会站、会走，开始说话，开始有自己的脾气，也开始一点一点拥有自己的世界。
From a tiny infant completely dependent on adults to a child who can sit, crawl, stand, walk, speak, show a personality and gradually develop a world of their own.
三年很短。
Three years is very short.
三年也很长。
Three years is also very long.
孩子从一个刚刚来到世界、什么都不知道的小生命，慢慢变成一个会跑、会笑、会说“不”的小人。
A newborn who arrives knowing nothing slowly becomes a little person who can run, laugh and say “no.”
而一个女人，也在这三年里重新认识了自己的身体、自己的孩子、自己的家庭，以及自己。
And during those same three years, a woman comes to know her own body, her child, her family—and herself—again.
孩子在长大。
The child is growing.
母亲其实也在长大。
The mother is growing too.
那个五月的午后
That May Afternoon
多年以后，再回望2017年5月19日的那个下午，很多细节也许会渐渐模糊。
Years later, looking back at the afternoon of May 19, 2017, many details may slowly fade.
但总有一些画面留了下来。
But some images remain.
记得唐廊。
Tang Gallery remains in memory.
记得英国芭蕾舞者在音乐中起舞。
The British ballerina dancing to the music remains in memory.
记得鲁璐穿着 Grace Chen 那袭白色晚礼服，层层流苏随着她拨动箜篌的手臂轻轻摇曳。
Lu Lu in Grace Chen’s white evening gown remains in memory, its layers of fringe swaying softly as her arms moved across the konghou.
记得古老琴弦响起的声音。
The sound of those ancient strings remains in memory.
记得石军先生朗诵王蕤自己的文章。
So does Mr. Shi Jun reciting Annie Wang’s own words.
记得发小许戈辉站在那里，回忆当年的少女怎样一路成为今天的母亲。
So does childhood friend Xu Gehui standing there, remembering how the girl she knew had become the mother she was that day.
也记得陈磊医生——那个曾经亲手迎接王蕤两个孩子来到世界的人——也坐在这个关于生育与母亲的新书发布会上。
And so does Dr. Chen Lei—the doctor who had personally welcomed two of Annie’s children into the world—sitting at a book launch devoted to childbirth and motherhood.
忽然会发现，这个下午所有看似不同的人和事，其实都围绕着同一个主题。
Suddenly it becomes clear that all the people and moments that seemed so different that afternoon revolved around the same theme.
成长。
Growing up.
一个少女长大了。
A girl grew up.
一个女人成为母亲。
A woman became a mother.
一个孩子来到世界。
A child came into the world.
然后三个孩子慢慢长大。
And then three children slowly grew up.
而那些曾经参与过这段生命旅程的人，又在北京五月的一个午后重新相聚。
The people who had once shared parts of that life journey came together again on a May afternoon in Beijing.
英国芭蕾与中国箜篌。
British ballet and the Chinese konghou.
Grace Chen 的现代时装与中国最古老的乐器之一。
Grace Chen’s modern fashion and one of China’s oldest instruments.
中国的月子与美国的产房。
Chinese postpartum confinement and the American delivery room.
老一辈人的经验与现代科学。
The experience of older generations and modern science.
东方与西方，从来没有必要非要分出一个输赢。
East and West never have to be reduced to a contest with one winner.
真正生活在两种文化之间的人知道，人生很少有那么简单的答案。
People who truly live between two cultures know that life rarely offers answers that simple.
最有意思的事情，往往发生在两者相遇的地方。
The most interesting things often happen where the two meet.
所以多年以后，也许已经记不清这是王蕤的第几本书了。
So years later, perhaps no one remembers which number book this was for Annie Wang.
却仍然记得这一本。
But this book is still remembered.
记得荷尔蒙。
The hormones are remembered.
记得孕吐和害喜。
The nausea and morning sickness are remembered.
记得那些无休无止的梦。
The endless dreams are remembered.
记得第一次成为母亲时的手忙脚乱。
The confusion of becoming a mother for the first time is remembered.
记得孩子一点一点长大。
The children growing little by little are remembered.
也记得一个女人在成为母亲之后，依然努力保留自己的判断、自己的生活和自己。
And so is a woman who, after becoming a mother, still worked to preserve her own judgment, her own life and her own sense of self.
2017年5月19日，北京唐廊。
May 19, 2017 · Tang Gallery, Beijing.
那天下午，有书，有芭蕾，有箜篌，有朗诵，也有认识了半生的朋友。
That afternoon there were books, ballet, konghou music, recitation and friends who had known one another for half a lifetime.
有孩子来到世界的故事，也有一个女人从少女走到母亲的故事。
There were stories of children coming into the world, and the story of a woman’s journey from girlhood to motherhood.
或许所谓中西合璧，从来不是在中国与美国之间选择一个答案。
Perhaps true East-West synthesis has never meant choosing a single answer between China and America.
而是在真正的生活里，懂得选择，懂得爱，也始终不失去自己。
It means learning, in real life, how to choose, how to love, and how never to lose yourself.
